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Saturday, July 04, 2009

K I 

Kambakkht Ishq

They have the money to sign on Hollywood stars and shoot in the US and Italy; they have the money to blow up on spectacular action sequences and designer wardrobes for the cast; they have the resources to splurge on marketing and promotion. But they don’ have the brains to get a fresh script or to use that money to create a memorable viewing experience.

All the extravagance is just a cover for totally stupid and regressive content, right out of the fifties—like a five-star hotel garnishing leftovers with caviar. It may look good, but it still stinks!

Sabbir Khan’s Kambakkht Ishq is supposed to be about the battle of the sexes—but it is a tirade against women, all of whom in this film are sorely lacking in brains or self-respect. The ‘hero’ Viraj (Akshay Kumar), a Hollywood stuntman, is such a stud, that he is constantly being chased by women, as he beds them and then flings them out of his house, his car, drives over one who has been running after him, and abandons a Hollywood siren (Denise Richards as herself) who wants to make “golden babies” with him, at the alter, without a backward glance. And then, he claims to hate women and marriage!

The man-hating ‘heroine’ Simrita (Kareena Kapoor) models to pay for medical school, and is such a bimbette that she performs surgery with a dangling watch on her wrist and leaves a part of it inside the patient, who happens to be Viraj. The musical ringing of the watch from Viraj’s stomach provides a running gag. Then, to get him back to the hospital and extract the watch, Simrita tries to drug him, dope him, and in desperation, seduce him with a dizzy (she takes the spiked glass meant for him) strip tease, but he—the Punjab ka puttar—doesn’t touch the Indian girl, because she is the kind who can be taken home to mother. Worse, she is a surgeon, but doesn’t realize that the act hasn’t really taken place.

While this moronic and tasteless tale (borrowed from the Kamal Haasan film Pammal K Sammandam by four scriptwriters!) is unfolding, Viraj and Simrita curse and swear at each other, he has a whole ‘eve-teasing’ number in Italy, as she runs about, dressed in increasingly skimpy clothing. She tries to break up the marriage of her equally scatty friend Kamini (Amrita Arora) to Viraj’s buddy Lucky (Aftab Shivdasani), just because she does not believe in marriage. Poor Kamini, constantly referred to as “Kameeni” suffers the indignity of having a man fart in her face as her wedding degenerates into pie-throwing, bottle-breaking mayhem.

Is this funny? No. Thrilling? No. Entertaining? Hardly. Meaningful? Not by a very long shot. In short, a total waste of time and money. Akshay Kumar should stop playing such creepy guys, and Kareena Kapoor deserves better than to be a skinny clotheshorse. And both of them seem to be inordinately proud of this piece of junk. This is the kind of cinema with which ‘Bollywood’ wants to woo the world? This is the kind of film that gets a huge opening? Depressing thought!

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

NY + 1 

New York

The terrorist attack on World Trade Centre ob September 11, 2001 destroyed peace in the world forever, and divided people in the US into ‘patriots’ and ‘outsiders’. It also put innocent Muslims on the defensive, and that continues years after the cataclysmic event.

A Muslim character in Kabir Khan’s earnest New York tells another that they should now put it behind and get on with life. But Khan doesn’t take his own advice. The film comes a little too late, portraying as it does, the mass arrest and torture of randomly arrested Muslims post 9/11 (done with great power in Khuda Ke Liye) and the revenge planned by a few.

Omar (Neil Nitin Mukesh) is trapped by a FBI officer Roshan (Irrfan) into re-establishing contact with college friends Samir (John Abraham) and Maya (Katrina Kaif). In love with Maya, Omar had been heartbroken when she chose Samir.

Roshan believes Samir heads a terrorist cell, and wants Omar to infiltrate and report on their activities. Omar discovers that Samir had been arrested and tortured after 9/11 and he wants to regain his dignity.

The debate about the right and wrong of such revenge is rather watery and the implications of the act never really explored. What the film does (like Shoot on Sight) recently is point the finger of suspicion at Muslims—they are all potential terrorists, it says, if the provocation is severe enough. It certainly does not serve the cause of peace… its politics are fuzzy, and instead of avoiding jingoism, it inadvertently promotes it.

Khan keeps a tight grip on the narrative, however, and the film is also wonderfully shot. He also gets an unexpected sincere performance from John Abraham. Irrfan provides the meat, Neil Nitin Mukesh the muscle and Katrina Kaif the garnish. It’s a watchable film, but does not either provoke debate or quell it, which seems like an opportunity for raising the issue of understanding and empathy between communities wasted.



Runway


The title Runway, so you expect something to do with airports; then you realize it was probably meant to be ‘runaway,’ as in fugitive.

Anyway, whatever it is called, the film goes nowhere. It is obviously meant to be a showreel for Amarjeet (whose family seems to have produced the film), so within a few minutes, he has strutted about bare-chested, had a song, a fight scene, a shower scene and so on..

The plot, such as it is, is about Allan (Amarjeet), who takes in a contract killing job to save his girlfriend (Deepal Shaw) dying (in full bridal regalia) of a drug-induced illness. He does the job of shooting a “Mister Victor,” and then finds that a killer (Lucky Ali) keeps shooting at him.

There he is, on the run from cops and killer, with just a night-club dancer Shaina (Tulip Joshi) to help him. It doesn’t make much sense, this running all around over Mauritius (where the club dancer sings some Chhapra ka paani kind of number!), and never figuring quite who is doing what and why.

Amarjeet looks like a cross between Emran Hashmi and Harman Baweja and displays no exceptional acting skills. No help from the rest of cast either.

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